Hey, all. This poem's been bubbling in my mind for a while--wanna know what you guys think of it =D I'm feeling kinda iffy about the title.
Unwritten,
Re-writtten
“What if I had…” what?
What if you had paid more
attention during my teenage
outcry? What if you
stayed,
instead of leaving me
in another’s care?
What if...I am still just me?
My life is not the sum of your regrets.
If…if you would; if you could,
theoretically, hypothetically,
for just one moment, stop.
Listen to the desperate
scratching of my palette knife,
see the brushstrokes beneath
overachieving colors. Cease
etching, impressing upon the
porousness of my maleable mind.
Would you…could you stop
censoring my life, as if to publish it
for…who? Who was I
meant to live
for? Your
approval? At some point,
I’d begun to look for the approval of
strangers, never receiving nourishment
I craved from you.
An actor in an impossible role—
no awards, no nominations.
Only liars, with incentive to
keep all our secrets, will know.
I love the public, and fear the private—
strange stares across the dinner table,
comments, allusions to biology,
sometimes a god no one believes in.
What if…you just let me be?
